Friends, feminism, and friendship

As life happened to us, friends became busier by the day. One day, Aditi, Aradhika, and I decided to meet. We met at the Tea Villa Café. It had an appealing ambiance and the food, I had heard, was delicious. I knew that I would not be able to pay since I had not received my salary (due in a day or two) so I was a little hesitant. I told this to Aditi and Aradhika and the next second they were like, “Amhi ahot na…” (Just leave that to us).

I recall another incident when another friend of mine, Sanika, has paid at times too without hesitation. It was not a matter of whether one had money or not, another just paid. There was never a frown upon her face when she had to pay and neither did I think even once before paying when it was my turn. We just paid for each other.

Another dear friend, Shamli, has also been very kind. Viraj, Shamli, and I hung out a lot of times. Whenever the three of us would meet, we would generally meet for lunch. Viraj was struggling with his job and would clarify that he would not be able to contribute equally we would be like “have we even asked for money?”

These three incidents highlight how I have been blessed with these and many other friends. Of course, this blog may display me as never having money. That was not the case. I have got all the financial support from my parents. They have not provided me with money whenever I needed it. But I had a single thought: I will manage my expenses with the money they have given me without asking for a rupee more. Not that they would have rejected giving money to me but I had to learn to manage on my own. My regular expenses were never a problem. Just when we did something extra like this, sometimes it would pose to be a limitation to any one of us.

Coming back to these female friends, I want to highlight that there is a lot of fake feminism. These and my other female friends were and are the actual portrayal of what feminism looks like. Never did they have biased thoughts about getting their share by being hypocrites. Today, getting things done under the pretext of feminism is common but if you look closely in your friend circle, you may get a glimpse of how it actually looks like (if you have friends who don’t fake to be feminists).

As friends, we do as much as we can for each other in every respect. I have many friends whom I can count on and who can count on me. This blog post is just a glimpse of pure friendship. It is not paying the bills that matter; what matters is the intent. Are you willingly doing things or because you have no choice? Have you really got your friend’s back? These are far more important questions.

Never did these ladies make me uncomfortable and I know that I could count on them and still can, be it financially or emotionally. Of course, I did pay the bills when the time came and I was in a better position. But to have such friends in life is a blessing. Friends you can count on, friends who won’t make you uncomfortable, and friends who truly are friends… such friendships are priceless.

All of these friends are doing well and I wish ultimate joy and success to them. I wish such friendships happen to all of you! Trust me, life is beautiful when no boundaries come between friends.

And hey you! Thanks for being here. Means a lot. If you liked reading this, do share it with others, comment your thoughts on it and help share the optimism.